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IELTS Writing Practice: Many parents are exerting significant pressure on their children to achieve success. Why do parents push their children so hard to succeed? Is this beneficial?
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1. Xây dựng ý tưởng

Đề bài

Many parents are exerting significant pressure on their children to achieve success.

Why do parents push their children so hard to succeed?

Do you think this trend is beneficial or harmful for children?

Dạng bài

Causes and Opinion Essay

 

Xác định chủ đề và luận điểm

Topic: Parental Pressure on Children

 

Luận điểm 1: Reasons why parents pressure their children to succeed

Intense competition in education and employment: sự cạnh tranh gay gắt trong giáo dục và việc làm

Desire to secure children's future financial stability: mong muốn đảm bảo tương lai tài chính cho con cái

Social expectations and family reputation: kỳ vọng xã hội và danh tiếng gia đình

Parents projecting their own ambitions onto children: cha mẹ áp đặt những tham vọng cá nhân lên con cái

Fear of economic uncertainty in modern society: lo ngại về sự bất ổn kinh tế trong xã hội hiện đại

Belief that academic achievement leads to success: niềm tin rằng thành tích học tập dẫn đến thành công

 

Luận điểm 2: This trend is generally harmful to children

Increased stress and anxiety levels: gia tăng căng thẳng và lo âu

Negative effects on mental health: ảnh hưởng tiêu cực đến sức khỏe tinh thần

Reduced opportunities for personal development: giảm cơ hội phát triển cá nhân toàn diện

Loss of intrinsic motivation to learn: mất động lực học tập nội tại

Strained parent-child relationships: làm căng thẳng mối quan hệ giữa cha mẹ và con cái

Risk of burnout and emotional exhaustion: nguy cơ kiệt sức và suy kiệt cảm xúc

 

Triển khai ý tưởng

 

Position

Although parents usually pressure their children with good intentions, I believe this trend is largely harmful because excessive expectations can damage children's mental well-being and personal development.

→ Mặc dù cha mẹ thường gây áp lực cho con với ý định tốt, tôi cho rằng xu hướng này nhìn chung có hại vì những kỳ vọng quá mức có thể ảnh hưởng tiêu cực đến sức khỏe tinh thần và sự phát triển cá nhân của trẻ.

Ví dụ:

Parents encouraging children to gain admission to prestigious universities

Students suffering from stress and burnout due to excessive academic expectations

 


 

2. Lập dàn ý cho đề theo PEEL

 

Introduction

Paraphrase: many parents place considerable pressure on their children to succeed

Questions: reasons and whether this trend is beneficial or harmful

Thesis: parents are motivated by competition and concern for their children's future, but excessive pressure is generally harmful

 

Body Paragraph 1

Point: parents push children because they want to secure their future success

Evidence: competitive job markets, educational requirements, financial stability, social expectations

Explanation: parents believe strong academic and professional achievements will improve life opportunities

Link: therefore, many parents feel pressure to push their children toward success

 

Body Paragraph 2

Point: excessive parental pressure can have harmful consequences

Evidence: stress, anxiety, burnout, reduced motivation, damaged relationships

Explanation: children may focus solely on meeting expectations rather than developing their interests and well-being

Link: consequently, the negative effects often outweigh the intended benefits

 

Conclusion

Summary: parents are motivated by good intentions but may create unintended problems

Restate: parental pressure is generally harmful when it becomes excessive

 


 

3. Bài mẫu hoàn chỉnh

In many societies, parents place considerable pressure on their children to achieve academic and professional success. This trend is largely driven by concerns about future opportunities and increasing competition. However, I believe that excessive parental pressure is generally harmful to children.

There are several reasons why parents push their children so hard to succeed. One important factor is the intense competition in education and employment. Many parents believe that excellent academic performance is necessary for admission to prestigious universities and access to well-paid careers. Another reason is the desire to secure children's future financial stability. In an increasingly uncertain economy, parents often view educational achievement as a pathway to a secure and prosperous life. Furthermore, social expectations and family reputation can also play a role, particularly in cultures where children's achievements are closely associated with parental success. As a result, many parents feel compelled to encourage their children to perform at the highest level.

Despite these intentions, I believe this trend is more harmful than beneficial. Excessive expectations can lead to increased stress and anxiety levels, particularly among students preparing for important examinations. Over time, this may cause negative effects on mental health, including depression and low self-esteem. Moreover, constant pressure may result in a loss of intrinsic motivation to learn, as children focus solely on satisfying their parents rather than pursuing their own interests. In some cases, unrealistic expectations can also create strained parent-child relationships and increase the risk of burnout and emotional exhaustion.

In conclusion, parents often pressure their children because they want to ensure future success and financial security. Nevertheless, I believe that excessive parental pressure is generally harmful, as it can undermine children's mental well-being, motivation, and overall development.

(Word count: 290)

 


 

4. Lexical Resources List

 

New Vocabulary

  1. intense competition in education and employment (noun phrase): sự cạnh tranh gay gắt trong giáo dục và việc làm

    E.g. Students face intense competition in education and employment.

  2. desire to secure children's future financial stability (noun phrase): mong muốn đảm bảo tương lai tài chính cho con cái

    E.g. Parents often have a desire to secure children's future financial stability.

  3. social expectations and family reputation (noun phrase): kỳ vọng xã hội và danh tiếng gia đình

    E.g. In some cultures, social expectations and family reputation influence parenting styles.

  4. parents projecting their own ambitions onto children (noun phrase): cha mẹ áp đặt tham vọng của mình lên con cái

    E.g. Problems arise when there are parents projecting their own ambitions onto children.

  5. fear of economic uncertainty in modern society (noun phrase): nỗi lo về bất ổn kinh tế trong xã hội hiện đại

    E.g. The fear of economic uncertainty in modern society motivates many parents.

  6. belief that academic achievement leads to success (noun phrase): niềm tin rằng thành tích học tập dẫn đến thành công

    E.g. Many families share the belief that academic achievement leads to success.

  7. increased stress and anxiety levels (noun phrase): gia tăng mức độ căng thẳng và lo âu

    E.g. Academic pressure often causes increased stress and anxiety levels.

  8. negative effects on mental health (noun phrase): ảnh hưởng tiêu cực đến sức khỏe tinh thần

    E.g. Excessive expectations may have negative effects on mental health.

  9. reduced opportunities for personal development (noun phrase): giảm cơ hội phát triển cá nhân

    E.g. Overemphasis on grades can lead to reduced opportunities for personal development.

  10. loss of intrinsic motivation to learn (noun phrase): mất động lực học tập nội tại

    E.g. Constant pressure may result in a loss of intrinsic motivation to learn.

  11. strained parent-child relationships (noun phrase): mối quan hệ căng thẳng giữa cha mẹ và con cái

    E.g. Unrealistic expectations often create strained parent-child relationships.

  12. risk of burnout and emotional exhaustion (noun phrase): nguy cơ kiệt sức và suy kiệt cảm xúc

    E.g. Students under constant pressure face a risk of burnout and emotional exhaustion.

  13. academic performance (noun phrase): thành tích học tập

    E.g. Parents often focus heavily on academic performance.

  14. prestigious universities (noun phrase): các trường đại học danh tiếng

    E.g. Many students aim to enter prestigious universities.

  15. well-paid careers (noun phrase): nghề nghiệp có thu nhập cao

    E.g. Education is often seen as a path to well-paid careers.

  16. secure and prosperous life (noun phrase): cuộc sống ổn định và thịnh vượng

    E.g. Parents want their children to enjoy a secure and prosperous life.

  17. low self-esteem (noun phrase): lòng tự trọng thấp

    E.g. Constant criticism can cause low self-esteem.

  18. unrealistic expectations (noun phrase): kỳ vọng phi thực tế

    E.g. Children may struggle to meet unrealistic expectations.

  19. overall development (noun phrase): sự phát triển toàn diện

    E.g. Schools should support students' overall development.

  20. future opportunities (noun phrase): cơ hội trong tương lai

    E.g. Education can expand future opportunities.

 

Sentence Structures

1. There are several reasons why + clause (dùng để giới thiệu nguyên nhân)

E.g. There are several reasons why parents pressure their children to succeed.

2. One important factor is the + noun phrase (dùng để trình bày nguyên nhân)

E.g. One important factor is the intense competition in education and employment.

3. Furthermore, + noun phrase + can also play a role (dùng để mở rộng ý)

E.g. Furthermore, social expectations can also play a role in shaping parental behavior.

4. Despite these intentions, I believe + clause (dùng để nêu quan điểm)

E.g. Despite these intentions, I believe excessive pressure is harmful.

5. Over time, this may cause + noun phrase (dùng để trình bày hệ quả)

E.g. Over time, this may cause negative effects on mental health.

6. In conclusion, although + clause, I believe + clause because + clause (dùng để kết luận)

E.g. In conclusion, although parents have good intentions, I believe excessive pressure is harmful because it can damage children's well-being and development.

 


 

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